We had friends over for a movie night and they insisted we watch this. It was terrible. I didn’t have the heart to share how bad I thought this was, so I pretended otherwise. (What does one do in this scenario?)

A few questions and thoughts:

  1. What is Tim Roth doing?
  2. What was that first skit?
  3. What made Madonna think this was a good idea?
  4. I genuinely don’t believe there is a single scene, shot, or performance in this film that’s worth saving. Except Antonio Banderas, who — as always — is impossibly cool.

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